Death Ain't So Bad

When you wake up in the morning what's the first thing that you think? Maybe a couple of swear words before hitting the snooze button for a 3rd time! (I had an old roommate who did that, and he loved saying the f-word *Forrest Gump Voice lol) Perhaps you run through the unofficial highlight tape of the oncoming day and how awesome or not awesome it will be. :-/

Me, I lay there with ambient sounds playing in the background from the night before trying to remember the dream that just ended. Then my first new thought is "Thank you God". Not always but most of the time.

Recently I lost a cousin- young guy, funny, healthy, strong- He died unexpectedly the day before his 21st birthday. It's been a little over a month now and lately I've been thinking about the fragility of life. As one of my favorite books so eloquently put's it, "You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." I never felt those words to be more true than I have this year.

On a personal note, about a year or so ago, I was battling depression and even thought about ending it all. Obviously that never happened. lol. But if you know me, you know that using depression and any term short of an espresso shot to describe my overall temperament is unorthodox. The main reason I didn't, is because I had a friend willing me through the daily grind of life- which at the time I often referred to as death.

They would call and ask, "What's up!?
I'd say, "Oh...you know...living this life of death."

While using the term death to describe life may seem like an oxymoron, I was actually onto something but didn't know it. I started going through my own "official highlight tapes of happiness" and the things it was composed of were either intangible or no where to be found in my life at the time- A flowing career, family, a love interest, money, a challenge to keep me occupied, and various other things. I was essentially suffering a death from the things that once gave me life.

How often in your own life do you feel shut down from the things that once generated contentment?  I'm sure it happens to others unless everyone else is living on the Island of Eutopia. Strangely enough, the places where we find that contentment, in a way, is like our own personal island of happiness. Now, suppose an unexpected storm is near and you have to evacuate your island; how can you find a new home so suddenly? Where do you turn to find a new place to live?

At first I turned to a little wine and and a lot sleep. (That actually sounds good right now). Sounds good, but after 2 weeks I felt unproductive and unfulfilled. So, I did to myself what most people do to their cars after it breaks down, I took myself back to the person who made me. Mr.God, The Man in the sky, He who see's, The Lifter of our heads, The ol' faithful one... (I can rattle these off all day lol)

I was in an "off-and-on relationship" with him and could still call him; but I had reached a point where my other Island of Eutopia was cutting me off from the mainline. The signal was getting fuzzy and I was beginning to lose coverage. Everything else in my life was already hanging up on me. So I opened that good book and turned to one of my personal favorites, "Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more." Proverbs 31:7.  I was already two weeks deep on that instruction. lol

But on a serious note, things begin to get better, at least emotionally. Next I started to get my mind right, and before I knew it- the espresso energy guy was back and recharged! Only this time I wasn't generating most of my contentment from outside things. It was more tangible than people and things; and more stable than circumstances. The joy was easier to find and sustain because it became more internal than external. Fast forward a year or so later- present day- things are moving. I feel at an all time high after hitting such an all time low. Though I do feel the fragility of life, I feel that with God I'm in good hands...All State! (Couldn't help it, sorry) "For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." So said God. I'm sure just about everyone would like prosperity, hope, and a future.

So, here come's one of those defining moments in life that you hear about...If the things and people that give you joy seem too few and far between... Or if you need a jump start on a new life... or even a way out of an old one... I want you to consider asking God for it. After the 360 that took place in my life, I'm convinced that he wants to do the same for you. I'm definitely not more deserving than you or anyone else. (take my word for it.) He said, "Call on me, and I will answer you, and I will show you great and mighty things that you know not of." After what I've seen, I wouldn't bet against it.

Things go away, people go astray, but God is with you all the way. Sometimes you have to be willing to let go of the things that give you life in order to find a more sustaining source. So from that aspect, if you have to die to receive a more full life, I guess "Death Ain't So Bad." ;-)

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Branden Wellington
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